but everythingmeans nothing.

Monday, January 31, 2005
Today is the Day 1 of my IPP.. I'm sooo bored.. There were actually 5 of us.. PT, CaiXia, Ronald, Wee Len and Moi~. We met at AMK station and of we go to Raffles.. long briefing and I was half sianz at the same time.. Coz I was being assigned to Tampines.. U know how far is it from my hse? Haiz.. but luckily Wee Leng is here.. So I think shouldn't be that bad.. at about 10.30 AM.. we reached Tampines and given a briefing of what we will be doing.. A book was passed to us each.. suppose to be a guide on how to use the tool. Then just now Wee Leng and I tried to download MSN.. but cannot de~ blocked.. so tomrorow Wee Leng will bring the installer of MSN and freedom.. haha.. then can use MSN already.. I hope~
Just now during lunch.. Wee Leng and I already bought some tea and cereal.. so that we can consume them during the long and boring hours of IPP.. For now.. I think I still enjoy FYPJ.. here like nobody care about us one..
So tired...
if i ain't got you|2:32 PM|

Sunday, January 30, 2005
Tomorrow is the start of my IPP.. feeling anxious and a lil excited at the same time.. I hope it would be fun there. On Friday after school, I went to G2000 to buy my office wear coz I think I don't have much of them in my waredrobe and luckily I found a few which I really like.. Shirt with just collars and long sleeves are pretty boring.. coz I've been wearing that throughout my 3 years of poly!
Yesterday, I woke up at about 6.50A.M.. so as to go for my golf lesson.. this time we went to the Green. IF U all are wondering what's the meaning of Green? Well it's those ppl who walk around with their golf clubs and aim at the pathetic small holes. Many funny things happen.. Golf balls were flew to the tree and "never return".. dropped into the drain.. and also.. clubs hitting onto the tree.. All of us performed average only.. coz most of us missed the ball.. which is like so funny...
Then after my golf.. I was so tired.. but I went to do my hair.. I finally highlighted my hair.. it's 2 tone.. Mama said it would be my last. =( Darling said I looked more fresh and not so glum.. During the process.. quite a few things happened too.. There was a electricity cut.. I think for 2-3 times? Hahahz.. then half way I wanted to pee.. but I can't coz they were "suana-ing" my hair.. hahaha.. SO I messaged Darling (who is so sweet to wait for me for 4 hours) to divert my tots.. hahahha.. it's so funny when we messaged each other here and there.
I've yet to buy my CNY clothings.. later maybe going to buy.. =)
if i ain't got you|9:03 AM|

Thursday, January 27, 2005
Wad a boring morning... Haven't been slpgin well these few days.. slpet earlier than usual but still feeling restless.. I think it's becoz of the dreams which have been occuring to me.. There are certain "intruders" that appear in my dream.. and some things happen which I don't want to see.. It's so.. IRRITATING! The person who I want in my dreams is always not there.. =(
Anyway.. 2 piece of good news!
1) Congrates Darling for passing his driving test with flying colours!!! YAY!!! I was so anxious when I waited for him.. My heart keep beating non-stop.. is like I'm more anxious than him.. DUH~ Anyway.. thinking back.. I really hope to see someone to be there when I've achieved something.. For example driving test.. it's really an important day for me.. I hope someone will be there to either share my happiness... or cry with me when I fail.. Well.. the one who I really want to be there is not there.. luckily.. my driving instructor is there to support me..
2) Today will be somehow my last day of FYPJ.. I'm having my presentation today and I really can't wait to be over! So tired to fighting already....
i-want-to-go-for-the-nus-and-ntu-talk-next-week... but I have IPP~ =(
if i ain't got you|8:51 AM|

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Talk to me, Tell me your name.. (Dunnoe how to continue).. I' nuts!! My presentation is on Thursday!! Hmm.. Well.. ='( FYPJ ending in another 3 days.. and I'm starting to feel sad already.. Arghz.. I'm gonna miss them lots lots..
Enjoying strawberry soda now.. very nice.. Oh yah.. heheh.. Sweet Darling already gave me my birthday pressie.. it's an adidas sweater.. black and white.. it's real nice and I love it! Thanks dear! We believed that both of us has been waiting for this version of sweater to appear..
I think within these 2 weekends.. I have to dye my hair.. buy more of my new year clothes.. buy formal clothes.. buy anniversary and V Days gifts.. Oh No.. so busy busy...
I'm going to miss NYP too.. =(
if i ain't got you|1:43 PM|

Monday, January 24, 2005
I can feel the ehat in me.. and now I'm having a headache.. =( Hate it to the core.. then.. i think I have a lil signs of sore throat.. Must be the weather..
I finally know where I'm attached to.. OCBC. Many of them said I was lucky becoz of the high pay.. and heard that it's very slack.. Good news thou.. but there are also some disadvatages.. Darling was posted to Science Park (Pure J2EE programming).. and heard that it's pretty tough.. and most prob I will be posted to Tampines.. which is like opp ends with him.. Could see Darling wasn't really happy with his allocation.. he was real quiet the whole day.. hope I could do smthing to make him feel better..
Another sad thing is that I think I might have to quit my tuition job.. breaking the news to carissa's grandma later.. Coz I really cannot make it.. I end work at 6.30pm..
Hope everything goes well for me..
if i ain't got you|1:48 PM|

Saturday, January 22, 2005
Now I've a clearer picture of what to do after I graduate from poly.. I'm definitely going in to a University.. No matter what course I'm studying.. as long it's a recognized degree.
I looked up on NUS and NTU.. Some of them said going to NTU is better.. but my dad prefers me to go NUS.. but in the end.. it's still my choice right? But I dun wanan make a wrong move~ And worst still.. I dunnoe wad interests me.. Actually I think there's only one course that interests me in NUS which is...
1) Bachelor of Computing in Communications and Media
(Well.. Mr Chew said it's tough.. and not suitable for BI students.. some of my seniors are struggling.. and also NUS is more acedemic..)
But I will be granted advanced placement credits totaled 38 MCs and no placement tests! How cool is that?! Thanks to my poly~ and mind you.. only NYP Business Informatics~ not other polys Business Information Technology or wat-so-ever. Or-bee for those who land up in Business Information Technology in other polys thinking that NYP is dung~ HumPh!
OKie.. next NTU.. was pretty reluctant to go.. but heard that food is better (Hey! I need to stay there for 4 yrs.. so food plays an impt part) Somemore the school seems newer~ And I read up on the webbie..
"Applicants applying to courses in NTU should have a relevant diploma but applicants in the top 5% of their cohort (Diploma with merit / Certificate of Merit) may apply for any courses in NTU, regardless of their diploma."
I wonder if I still have a chance to be in the top 5%~ If I can.. and I'm really still in the top 5%.. I would be taking other courses.. and not computing anymore.. cause.. they only have computer science and computer engineering. I don't mind starting from year one.. I though of some courses for now.. provided if I'm still in the top 5% after I graduate.
1) Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering (I'm pretty interested in lab works and I actually thought of Chemical Engineering before I entered poly)
2) BioEngineering
3) Psychology
4) Sociology
Yapz.. these few.. got any suggestions.. please tell me!!!
And oh.. Guys.. going to NS right? Actually u can reserve a place in NTU.. NUS I'm not sure.. maybe can also.. So Yapz.. Yapz.. I think we should start thinking our future.. dun wait till come out NS then think about it.. Really.. coz it might be too late...
Arh.. some of u must be thinking why I didn't want to go overseas.. Well.. a few reasons..
1) I can't live without my family
2) I can't live without my friends in Singapore
3) I can't live without my Darling..
U might be thinking I'm weak.. but seriously.. if can study in SIngapore Uni.. why not? Also.. my family spent a great deal on my Brother's overseas studies.. I think I shouldn't spend so much.. and dun always think I'm that rich.. It's not my money.. it's my dad's.. Can't expect him to work that hard anymore can I? And I will be happy staying here. =)
if i ain't got you|10:18 PM|

Thursday, January 20, 2005
Thanks for ppl out there who say I'm not fat/plump~ Lolz.. BUt seriously.. U should have seen it underneath my clothes! LOLz... Anyway.. arghz.. my tummy problem comes back again.. Hate it and my med going to finish pretty soon.. so I hope it would be well by then.
Yesterday had Marche.. the food are still as good as ever.. or issit becoz of my company? Lolz.. Of coz it's Darling.. Hmm.. Yesterday was the first day of open hse~ It's kinda cool I think and I got to meet Bernice. She's still as pretty as ever.. Feel so inferior when I am with her.. Hmmm..
Oh Yah... my FYPJ is going to end soon.. SO I wanna dedicate some words to my FYPJ pals out there...
1) Yu Yun-- Thanks for being such a great partner~ I mean really great! And I find that U are the nicest person/ friend I've met in NYP.. 2 Thumbs Up!
2) Lali & Shareena-- Although I dun tok much to u guys.. but still U make the lab very lively!! Thanks for being in this lab!
3) Hui Jiao-- Got to know u better through Yu Yun~ and really U are a very nice girl too!! Good luck to U and Eric.. Get married must invite me hor.. Adn thanks for ur Xmas pressie once again.. it's really thoughtful of u!
4) HuiXiong, Clarence and Chong Wei-- U guys are really funny lor.. Locukily U guys are in this lab.. otherwise RosettaNet is really a dead lab.. Lolz.. Good luck to u guys! Thanks alot too!
Okie.. Next dedication..
1) Mr Chew-- I wonder if u are reading this but nevermind... Just wanna say thanks alot for all the encouragement you have given me for the past few months. U really RoX! And U never fail u to make better when I'm real down with some things.. and that kept me going on for these 12 weeks. U are really a great teacher!
Alright~~ Got to Go Cya~~
if i ain't got you|10:10 AM|

Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Oh.. thanks Clarence.. U are real sweet.. saying I'm not fat.. but chubby instead.. but I still think I'm FAT!! Hmm.. I dunoe why.. maybe it's becoz I have really low confidence in myself..
Even Darling starts to say I'm putting on a lil weight and begin to tease me about my spare tyre around me~ =(
Someting to really look forward to: NYP Open House.. Yapz.. I'm going to help out in the Open House~ I'm so glad and happy.. I mean it's a chance for me to really break away from RosettaNet lab.. Mr Chew is in charge and I think I know what to do.. roughly.. Lolz.. which is using MSN to chat with those kiddies and the funny part was we can't see their faces but they are able to see us.. Web-Cam.. hahaha I think it is to make those kiddies amazed of our technology~
FYPJ is coming to an end.. and I'm starting to rush my documentation.. Next Monday is my IPP briefing and it's time for me to get worried again.. like how I felt during my FYPJ briefing..
Some things are troubling me now and I wonder why do I face the same problem time and time again.. I hate myself.. arghz!!
Oh yah.. Chong Wei.. don't be too sad yar? Maybe get some time to talk to her about it and ask her why is she behaving this way.. Relationships are like that.. there are bound to be ups and downs.. Take care okie?
Going for tuition again.. and I'm so exhausted~~`
if i ain't got you|1:09 PM|

Monday, January 17, 2005
So Sad!!! Why? Coz I'm fat already!! OMG.. I really hate it.. coz I'm limited to a few clothes whihc I need to buy for the upcoming CNY~ And oh dear.. I'm so fat alrerady and I think I'm going to gain a few more pounds during CNY! It's always been the case~
Yesterday I had a good time being out for so long.. till my feet hurts from all the walking.. I was out with my "13 -years- friend", Bernice.. Although we have known each other for long.. but every year when we meet.. we know smthing new about each other.. I've realsied that our taste of cars and clothes are similar.. We even bought the same skirt! Heheh.. And we were travelling through and fro for some reasons and our feets were like.. gosh as if they are going to break! And Bernice counted.... we were walking for straight 4 hours! Non-Stop~ OMg.. BUt anyway.. it's real fun.. And it's been a long time since I stepped into Orchard.. and some shops have changed..
I'm gonna be real busy this week.. gotta finish my AES and at the same time.. welcoming Hari Raya on Friday!! HOHOHO~~`
if i ain't got you|8:55 AM|

Friday, January 14, 2005
Morning morning! Hmmm.. Well.. let me give u some updates about me..
Have been real busy for the past few days.. eyes glued to the computer.. most of the time.. on search engines.. looking for some coding help. Well.. Finally.. the main crux of the project has been completed and now will be spending more time for documentation. So busy till I neglected my tummy.. I went for doc's yesterday and was said that I had lotsa gas in my tummy and that explains my discomfort everyday.. Yapz.. u heard it.. everyday~ I didn't really take notice till Darling brought it up.. SO I hope I recover soon.
I'm going to graduate soon.. in just a few months.. and it will become a new part of my life.. and as usual.. similar to the rest.. All of us are supposed to make a major decision on how are we going to start another new phase of life. Work, Study or Play?
I was offered a job and pay was quite good for a start, but I think I'm supposed to do things which I really dun like which is programming.. but heard that contract is a year.. And also.. I brought it up to my mother.. and she said the pay is kinda good but she prefers me to further my studies..
The big problem is.. if I wanna further my studies.. what can I study? I wanna do smthing whihc I'm really interested in..
Another problem.. if I wanna work.. Should I go for "this" job or should I look for others? If others.. what can I really work as?
All comes down to a question.. What do I really like? What do I really want to be?
I've given some thoughts and I feel that I love animals and I like flexible working hours.. I like to walk around.. etc.. Arghz.. I dunnoe.. feeling troubled again as how I felt about 3 years ago...
if i ain't got you|9:02 AM|

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Hmm... 2 thumbs up for my Daddy~ He got the pirated DVD for the Seed Of Chucky.. so I odn't have to bother if it's nice or not.. coz I won't be spending a single cent~ At most I just have to waste a lil of my time if it's really not that nice.. I still can't decide if it's really good or not.. coz I got comments from extremes.. It's either "farnie" or "boring". "Boring" becoz the plot is expected? I don't know.. I gotta watch it before giving it any comments.. Regardless of magazines.. critics.. etc.. I'm still not going to be syawed by wad they say. Coz.. I still think.. whether the movie is good or not.. it's still according to ur own preference.. A great example..
Lord Of The Rings--> Many said it's a nice movie.. a blast.. a "Must Watch" movie
But I didn't catch the 3rd series coz after watching the first 2.. I just feel that I have no interest in watching the 3rd.. In fact I would say the movie drains my energy.. I kinda forced myself to watch the 2nd part becoz it seems like the whole island is watching it. Until now.. I still dun really have to watch the 3rd one although many said it's the best. I don't really care.
Even the whole world thinks that it's not nice.. u may find it nice u see... or otherwise.. The whole world might think it's nice but u think it's not nice..
* To those ppl out there who always met up with this situation.. haha.. dun be sad.. it's not that ur taste sucks.. it's becoz U are special among millions.. billions..
Remember some of the I.Q tests thingie? U might fall in the 5% (genius) or 95%(normal) and take note that the minorities are special people.. =) Good Day!
if i ain't got you|1:43 PM|

Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Yay.. finished one pathetic function of my project.. one more to go and we are done!! Can't wait for next week to come.. coz there's an holiday and I could help out at the open house! Yayz!! I hope to complete my project maybe end of this week or beginning of next week.. coz we are seriously running out of time!!!
I'm going to tuition Carissa later.. and I'm somehow looking forward to it.. I dunnoe why.. but it's just that I think time will pass pretty fast.. =) Oh well, heard that Seed Of Chucky sucks.. I wonder if I should go and watch it.. can I have mroe comments about it? It seems funny if u have almost watched almost all the series of Chucky and missed this one.. From a horrifying theme to a comedy.. That's wad I feel.. I dunnoe why.. I feel evry tired today.. maybe becoz of the Do While Loop thingie.. Bahz.. I still hate Java.
if i ain't got you|5:18 PM|

Monday, January 10, 2005
I'm stranded in this very boring place.. "L308C17". My lab number and seat number. Now there are 1,2,3...9 people looking at some slides presented by Mars planet.. sitting at the corner of my lab.. so have to keep quiet..
Some things happened today.. Well.. Mr Teo, my supervisor.. cut his hair.. which I find that it's pretty weird.. and it reminds me of Mr Chew's son.. Maybe Teo too stress le.. Then after which.. I've solved a lil problem of my own project and Yu Yun solved the problem of tabbing.. Thanks to the "guy"..(dunnoe his name).. Cheerios to the both of us! I mean at least we made some progress.. Wanted to watch Seed of Chucky today.. but darn.. golf lessons have to come to my way... gotta postphoned the movie till Wednesday I think.. Tomorrow has to go for tuition.. Yapz.. settled on Tuesday and Saturday.. It's such a coincidence.. coz Darling's basket-ball session is on Tuesday too =P
Darling's NAPFA is this Friday and all of us tot that it's expected to fail the first time.. Well, Darling.. just do ur best k? Muackz~
I had a new ringtone.. which consists of Clarence's "re-tarded" laughter and insults.. Hhahahaaa~ It's kinda embarrassing to let my phone ring but its fun nevertheless..
if i ain't got you|3:13 PM|

Friday, January 07, 2005
Bad Day today.... Nothing good has happened.. Darling peeked into the drawer where I kept the "things" I'm making for him.. So he knows part of it... =( Bad Bad.. I'm afraid that there are no surprises anymore... But dear.. just remain surprise okie? Even U know what am I doing..
Carissa's Grandma finally called me.. and I'm down to tutor Carissa this Saturday.. Seriously, I'm thinking if I should continue coz I'm afraid I can't give 100% commitment.. I end school at 6 on weekdays and it might be even later when comes to my attachment becoz my working place might be quite far... So.. I dunnoe still deciding..
My tummy hurts badly....
if i ain't got you|10:02 AM|

Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Just finshed my presentation.. it's not really "that" bad ar... I mean Mr Teo still smile smile.. laugh laugh.. but I though I could have a day rest before starting work.. but U think time is really running out and I think I should make full use of it.
Alright.. some updates coming up..
Last Sunday.. went to PS to meeet Darling's sec school friends.. Well.. They are really nice bunch of ppl.. and could see that Darling is the noisy one there.. Hahhaahz.. >.< Then I compared them with the girls.. I feel that we are so much noiser.. ahhaa.. cannot blame.. Girls mahz.. Darling's grp consists of:Eugene, Esther (Eugene's gf), Sida, Soon Tat and Kang Ren aka Panda. Lolz.. Sida and Soon Tat were late.. Haiz.. boys.. lolz.. So I can say that Darling is not that bad le.. We went Cafe Cartel ate my all-time-craving Cheese Stake.. It's still so nice.. Then after lunch.. went home coz Darling has to go for work..
On Sat... I suddenly fell into a deep depression.. so much that Darling got so worried.. Sorry Dear.. and the next day explains why my mood was being so bad.. Hhahaha.. monthly period.
*Throat still not feeling well... =(
Oh yah... Now "Krista" --> My Maple Story Character.. is LVL 40~~ Yeas!! And seriously.. from Lvl 38 onwards.. I've been stationing at one place to find a glass shoe to do some quest.. and I was about to lvl up to 40 already... still cannot find.. anxious~ Then one day.. I told myself.. if I couldn't find a glass shoe.. I would fail my FYPJ... and shortly after I got my glass shoe!!!! Serious.. I mean it's just so coincidence... then it's kinda hard to get a 2nd one since I've got it already.. Then I kiddingly told myself again... "If I can take another glass shoe.. my FYPJ will go on smoothly..." Then again!! I got another one!! I mean I tried searching the glass shoe for 3 days.. and I finally got it.. =)
Hungry already.. going to eat lunch... =P
if i ain't got you|11:09 AM|

Having a presentation in 45 minutes.. anxious.. but I doubt so leh.. I dunnoe leh.. I have a feeling that they going to be late.. Haiz.. so tired these few days.. everyday has to face the computer to search for codes (which is so unlike me)... My last weekend was horrible anyway... Shall update after my presentation.. Good Luck Yu Yun, Clarence, Lalithia, Shareena, Hui Xiong, Chong Wei & of coz.. myself =P
if i ain't got you|9:15 AM|

Monday, January 03, 2005
Couldn't stand it~ Having my once-a-month- thingie and I'm having a sore throat.. I keep drinking lotsa water and imagine how many times I have to visit the loo. I am feeling so restless now and I can't really do anything.. My period makes me real tired and exhausted.. Duh.. I hate it..
if i ain't got you|10:06 AM|

Sunday, January 02, 2005
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lifeisjustsounfairandihateu.
if i ain't got you|10:07 PM|

Saturday, January 01, 2005
New Year's Eve was great! Thanks for my friends who brought their food and it's real nice~
1) Darling - Popiah
2) Yan Rong - Mash Potato
3) Lindy - Chicken Chop
4) Celeste - Shepard's pie
5) Jovin - Fried Bee Hoon
6) Kate - Crepes
7) Patrick - Finger food
8) Jun Bin - Drinks
Woh.. look at at the spread.. LOlz.. we played throughout the whole night--> Cluedo, Hotel, Murderer.. and some number guessing games and questions were asked around.. And we played till 6am in the morning.. So tired.. And I slept till one plus.. and also having a 3 hour nap in the late afternoon.. My lunch became the food which was left yesterday.. Thanks again =)
I was doing some new stuffs and my fingers were kinda sore.. painful.. I know it sounds kinda stupid lar.. but then it's my first time doing it.. and it's kinda one of my worst areas.. so I need more practise.. Hope I'm able to meet my quota..
Dun tell u wad is it~*
And also.. thanks Yan Rong for that delicious Royce chocolate U gave me (aka New Year's Gift)! I really love it!!
if i ain't got you|9:28 PM|
